The Curse of the Songs
by Ashiri
Summary: Basically like a Harry Potter musical.... Real songs, just distorted words.


Disclaimer: I own nilch 'cept the very strange thing I call "humor"  
  
  
  
Scene opens with Voldemort standing in a dark, attic of sorts. He is alone, and is talking to himself. "Harry Potter. You are the cause of all of this..."  
  
Music starts playing from somewhere. And Voldemort, in a truly evil, crazy voice, starts singing.  
  
  
  
"In the dark of the night, I was tossing and turning  
  
and the nightmare I had was as bad as can be."  
  
{Flashback} A black snake is slithering around in the ground of a forest.  
  
  
  
"It scared me out of my wits..  
  
a snake sliding away."  
  
He pauses and looks disgustingly into an old antique mirror.  
  
"Then I opened my eyes and the nightmare was me!"  
  
Lifts his arm and starts dancing around in an 'I rule the world kind of mood'  
  
"I was once the most powerful wizard in England!"  
  
Twirls his wand up in the air and catches it.  
  
"When the Potters refused me, they made a mistake!  
  
My curse made both of them pay.."  
  
{Flashback} Lily is lying on the floor and Harry is rebounding the curse to Voldemort.  
  
"But one little boy got away...  
  
Little Harry beware Voldemort's awake!"  
  
Uses his wand to create the dark mark. He leaves the house in a hurry. Wormtail is outside and joins up with him, accompanied with many possessed Muggles, who join him in his song.  
  
"In the dark of the night, evil will find him  
  
in the dark of the night, just before dawn"  
  
Voldemort spins in an extremely OOC fashion.  
  
"Revenge will be sweet  
  
when the curse is complete."  
  
He grins and holds up his wand. He mutters something and a bright red/orange light comes out and heads down the street and around the corner, headed to a new destination.  
  
Wormtail adds,  
  
"In the dark of the night, he'll be gone."  
  
Shows Voldemort, Harry, and Wormtail in the ceremony where Voldemort got his body back.  
  
"I can feel that my powers are slowly returning  
  
Prepare the cauldren and potion for that spell"  
  
He cackles.  
  
"As the pieces fall into place,  
  
I'll see him crawl into place  
  
See ya later Harry, who lived  
  
Farewell"  
  
Muggles:  
  
"In the dark of the night, terror will find him  
  
V: (Terrors the least I can do!)  
  
In the dark of the night, evil will ruuuuuuule!!!!"  
  
"And soon, he will feel that his nightmares are real...  
  
In the dark of the night, he'll be through"  
  
Muggles:  
  
"In the dark of the night, evil will find him  
  
In the dark of the night, terror comes true!"  
  
V: "My dear, here's a sign, it's the end of the line!"  
  
Muggles:  
  
"In the dark of the night  
  
in the dark of the night...."  
  
  
  
Voldemort takes Wormtails arm and presses his finger to the Dark Mark, which immediately turned black.  
  
"Come my minions rise for your master,  
  
let your evil shine!!!"  
  
Hooded figures appear at his side.  
  
"Find him now, yes fly ever faster!!"  
  
Muggles:  
  
"In the dark of the night,  
  
In the dark of the night,  
  
In the dark of the night....."  
  
"HE'LL BE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
The music and scenery suddenly fade away and another scene shows. It's the Gryffindor Boys dorm. Instead of the solemn scene you expect, Ron, Harry, Fred and George are all sitting in a circle in laughter, surrounded by Butterbeer and other various treats.  
  
Ron: {laughing} I'm not telling! I know you guys!  
  
Harry: {looking like he's had WAY too much to drink} Come on, Ronniekins! Ain't I your best friend! You can tell me!  
  
Fred: {Grinning at the prospect he's gotten them drunk and the fact that he is too...} Oh, well we already know... Right George?  
  
George: *hic. Yep! {grins}  
  
Ron: Yeah right...  
  
Fred: Well, it WOULD have been a lot harder if you don't talk to yourself in your room... Armlen (family ghost) told us... But it is kinda obvious.  
  
George: We would have. *hic, found out anyway...  
  
Harry: Who? WHO?  
  
George: Well... If you really  
  
Fred: Wanna know... It's...  
  
George: Her-  
  
Ron: WAIT!!!!!  
  
{George frowns at him interrupting, but Fred finishes.}  
  
Fred: Mione...  
  
Harry: {chokes} Hermione?  
  
Ron: {face turns extremely red} Well... What can I say....  
  
Music starts playing.  
  
Ron sings: "It takes a woman, all powdered and pink  
  
To joyously read a 3569 page book,  
  
and it takes an angel with long bushy hair,  
  
and soft disciplined fingers, for doing your homework!"  
  
All: "Yes, it takes a woman, a dainty woman..."  
  
Harry: "A sweetheart..."  
  
Twins: "A mistress..."  
  
Ron: "A wife..."  
  
All stop abruptly and stare at him strangely, but start again when music starts.  
  
All: "Oh yes, it takes a woman, a fragile woman...  
  
To bring out the sweet things in life."  
  
Ron: "The frail young maiden who's constantly there,  
  
for reading and scolding and protecting the elves..."  
  
Harry: "And it takes a woman for setting the table  
  
and using her charm  
  
and cleaning the broomsticks...."  
  
  
  
All: "Yes it takes a woman, a dainty woman..."  
  
Twins: "A sweetheart..."  
  
Ron: "A mistress..."  
  
Harry: "A wife..."  
  
All: "Oh yes it takes a woman, a fragile woman  
  
to bring you the sweet things in life."  
  
Ron: "And in the spring, she'll help with exams...  
  
and lovingly set her cat on the mice...  
  
She's a joy and treasure-"  
  
They are all suddenly interrupted as the door opens and shows a perturbed looking Hermione.  
  
Hermione: What is going on in here?  
  
All: Ummm....  
  
Hermione: It is sooo loud! We can here you all the way in the Common Room! {Notices empty Butterbeer bottles} (Gasps) Ron! Harry! I'm surprised at you!!! You should know better!!!!!  
  
Ron: {attempts to stand, but falls} Really, Herm, it isn't what it looks like!  
  
George: *hic. Ditto!  
  
Hermione: {glares} Right... Well... goodbye!  
  
{She slams the door}  
  
Ron: {Slumps to the floor} Sh*t....  
  
Harry: Aw, Ron, it'll work out. She can't stay mad at us forever...  
  
  
  
The scene blurs in a strangely drunken way... Another scene takes its place. It is the Gryffindor Common Room. Hermione is sitting in a large armchair and crying her eyes out. There is a creak on the stairs to the Boy's Dorm. She looks up.  
  
H: What do your want, Ron?  
  
{pause}  
  
R: I just wanted to say... It wasn't really what it looked like... We weren't drunk... Well, George was, but it wasn't the Butterbeer that had its effect on me and Harry.  
  
H: {sigh} Harry and me, Ron.  
  
R: Whatever...  
  
H: {angrily} No Ron! Not whatever!!!  
  
Music starts playing...  
  
"You are so rude to me Ron! Well, I only have one thing to say to you!" She pauses and takes a large breath. "Goodbyyyyyyyyyeeeee!!!" she shrieks.  
  
"Wave your little hand and whisper so long dearie!  
  
You ain't gonna see me anymore.  
  
But when U discover that your life is dreary,  
  
don't you come a knocking at my door.  
  
Cuz I'll be all dolled up and singing that song that says,  
  
"You dog, I told you so!",  
  
So wave your little hand and whisper so long dearie.  
  
Dearie should have said so long, so long ago."  
  
Hermione stands and walks up to him. She yells, right in his face,  
  
"Because you've treated me so rotten and rough,  
  
I've had enough of feeling low.  
  
So wave your little hand and whisper so long dearie.  
  
Dearie should have said so long, so long ago."  
  
She smiles and dances in yet another extremely OOC fashion.  
  
"For I can hear that choo choo callin' me on,  
  
to a fancy new address."  
  
She looks out the window towards the Hogsmeade station..  
  
"For I can hear that choo choo caling me on,  
  
on board that Hogwarts Express."  
  
She turns and grins in a slightly crazy, slightly *cough* yeeaaaahh.... way.  
  
"I'm gonna learn to smile, and joke and forget my homework!  
  
I'm going as far away from Hogwarts as a girl can lurk."  
  
She picks up Scabbers, who for some reason is in the Common Room... (?)  
  
"And on those cold winter nights Ron,  
  
You can snuggle up to Scabbers."  
  
She shoves the rat at Ron, who is standing, speechless.  
  
"It may be a little ugly man in disguise, but..."  
  
She smiles mischievously.  
  
"- he's got a tail..."  
  
"Don't come a knocking,  
  
I'll be all dolled up and singing a song that says,  
  
"You dog, I told you so."  
  
So, Ron, you will find your life a sad old story  
  
when you see your 'Mione shuffle off to glory  
  
Oh, I should have said so long  
  
so long ago-oooooooooo!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
She finishes off by slapping Ron very dramatically and dashing out of the Common Room. All Ron can say is, "Gosh, I love her even more now...." 


End file.
